A Sad Day

This entry is a little late but I feel I need to get it out there:

My older sister Misty passed away a few weeks ago. She was two years older than me and we were especially close. For those who don't know, Misty suffered from bipolar disorder. She has been struggling with this illness for several years and it seems to have gotten terribly worse. As a result, she committed suicide on March 3rd.

I don't think Clint and I will ever forget the day that we heard the news. It was Tuesday and Clint had just called me to let me know he was almost to my work. He was stopping by on his way home from one of his company's locations to say hello. I had just hung up the phone with him and was preparing to go down the elevator when he called me again. He said "Emily, get your things." There was something about the way that he said it that made me feel uneasy. I thought he was just trying to get me to come home early with him so I told him I couldn't leave for another 30 minutes. And he said again, "Emily, just get your things."

I stood at the elevator with my purse in my hand and hesitated. My heart was pounding so hard and I was shaking. I knew that if I went down that elevator and saw Clint my life would never be the same. As I stepped outside the office building I saw him coming toward me. All he could say was "It's Misty. She died." After that it's all a blur. I know I screamed. I cried. I hit Clint several times. Cried some more. And then I spent the drive to my parents home in disbelief...hoping that Clint had misunderstood and that Misty was ok.

Planning the funeral was very hard. I never thought I would be picking out the casket for my sister or writing her obituary. But we somehow got through it all. I spoke at her funeral. I'll put my talk on the blog for those who want to know more about her.

Misty was married to a great guy, Shawn. They have three little girls that are probably the cutest things on this earth. Colette (5), Camille (4), and Heidi (2). She had so much to live for! And it is for that reason that I am not angry with her for her decision to end her life. To have so much to live for and still feel that dying was the best thing: I cannot even imagine the torment she must have been feeling...I cannot begin to understand what was going on in her mind. But I hope she is now at peace.

Even still, my life won't be the same without her. Aside from Clint, Misty was my very best friend. Easter was especially hard for me because Misty loved the holiday. She loved peeps and speckled robin eggs. Growing up, she was especially nice to me during this time of the year because I HATE peeps. She knew she could always get my Easter candy if she played the nice card. When we buried Misty I put peeps with her casket.

Misty's death has given me some clarity: Treasure life! Enjoy life! Spend each day with the people you love!